dating a widower

Dating a Widower 101: How to Act on the First Date

First dates are always intense since in those two hours or less you have to determine whether that person is worthy of your time and further emotional investment. On the other hand, preparing for them is even worse, because picking the right outfit and a hairstyle can drive one crazy indeed. Dating a widower is even more complicated for that matter because you have to play by the rules. Otherwise, you may end up smothering or offending your date. Lucky for you, we have prepared some guidelines that should help you have a joyful first date with a widower.

Do not talk about marriage or kids

This would freak out any guy, not just a widower. Keep in mind that he went through a rough patch in his life and he is just starting to get back in the saddle. Therefore, don’t scare him off by being too pushy or needy. Even if you think he is the guy of your dreams, don’t mention that you want to get married in June and have three kids.  Play it cool and befriend him first. As soon as you get to know him a little bit better, you will see whether he is really ready to date again.

Don’t ask too many questions

Avoid talking about his late wife on your first date. That can be a huge mood killer, right? Therefore, concentrate on more positive things in life, like his interests, hobbies or future goals. In case the wife subject comes up, find out when she died. This way, you will see whether the wound is still fresh or he had plenty of time to cope with his loss.

Be polite and charming

Keep the atmosphere light and your conversations interesting during your first date. Also, make sure to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ maintain eye contact and smile a lot. If you are afraid that you won’t have anything to talk about on your date, prepare some topics beforehand. You can talk about anything, from your pets to your favorite travel destinations.

Be supportive

In case he wants to talk about his late wife, let him know that you don’t mind listening about her. You have to acknowledge that she was a huge part of his life and that her name will come up now and then. However, don’t let him take advantage of that. You are his date, not his therapist.

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